


Kink-quisition: the trouble with quill and paper

by sharksgrin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anonymity Fail, Banter, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Fun, Humor, In-Character kinkmeme, M/M, Silly, no actual smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharksgrin/pseuds/sharksgrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hidden in some secret corner of Skyhold, the Inquisition's Inner Circle has its own kink meme. Which is totally anonymous. No way to tell who's who. Nope. Well, except for the handwriting. There may or may nor be other clues as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kink-quisition: the trouble with quill and paper

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kink-quisition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3639657) by [coveredinfeels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredinfeels/pseuds/coveredinfeels). 



> Just a quick, silly drabble I wrote a while back for the kink meme, plus a few new lines. Didn't really plan on putting it up here, but what the hell, maybe someone gets a laugh out of it. Even added two characters I had forgotten to include (whoops).  
> Inspired by, and prompted by coveredinfeels' original Kink-quisition fic - wherein Cassandra finds the kink meme.  
> Go read it, it's hilarious.
> 
> original prompt and fill: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/14317.html?thread=53766381#t53766381

(The following is written at the top of a loose page in simple, unadorned handwriting): _So, now that the Inquisitor and_ (here someone has meticulously tried to blot out the words: the Chief) _the Iron Bull are together, they deserve a hot bedroom scene to celebrate. Maybe the big lout needs some inspiration._

(Neat rows of comments written in various hands follow.)

Comment in hurried but precise handwriting: _Not reading this. I've seen enough of that already. Couldn't get the sight out of my head for days._

Comment in elaborate but perfectly legible handwriting: _I couldn't get it out of my head either. Please someone fill this!_

Comment in precise but elegant handwiting: _Yes please. I wish I had been there..._

FILL (in nondescript handwriting): _The Iron Bull slowly released the buckles of his armour, let it fall to the ground piece by piece. The wide and comforting expanse of his chest was glistening with sweat and the Inquisitor greedily watched it being revealed bit by delicious bit, eyes darting to the considerable bulge growing under the nugskin trousers. The Iron Bull chuckled. „Oh yes, you have been good. I have a special reward prepared for you. Do you wish to know what I will do?“ The Inquisitor nodded eagerly. „I am going to..:“_

(the rest of the page has been torn off, but there is a second page with comments attatched to it.)

Comment in simple, unadorned handwriting: _OP : Wow that was … graphic. Also lots of fun. Thank you anon (buy you ale later)!_

Comment in spacious, angular handwriting: _We really need some sort of content warning on these._  
Comment in practical, fluent handwriting: _Hey, you knew who it was about. You also maybe might have possibly had a tiny, totally unfounded idea who the author was. That should've been fair warning. That said, not my cup of tea either, but you can't deny this is funny shit. And I'm not meaning to bash it by saying shit, more like good shit, author has done a decent job. Maybe even good enough to steal a line or two._  
Comment from author: _High praise there, thanks. No worries about the bashing. You get something from this, I'm happy, even if it's just a laugh._

Comment in spacious, angular handwriting: _Yeah alright, I did laugh. Though it was more for the pictures on the margin, those are gold. Story wasn't bad, and I'm not traumatised or anything. I'm just not sure I wanted this in my head._  
Comment in crude letters: _Damn right, this, too much with the dangly bits. Don't want so much dangly bits in your head, yeah? Wink wink._  
Comment in spacious, angular handwriting: _Heh, good one._  
Comment from author: _Is that why you drew me with boobs?_  
Comment in crude letters: _I draw boobs couse you got boobs._ (There is a tiny illustration of a broad, Qunari with an eyepatch, an exaggerated erection and boobs.)  
Comment in simple, unadorned handwriting: _And I can gleefully say: told you so._

Comment in flourished handwriting: _That was dirty and vulgar and I am ashamed to admit it was also incredibly hot._  
Comment from author: _Never be ashamed of your base desires. If you ever need help to blow off some steam from reading, all you need to do is ask._

Comment in shaky big letters: _Does it count as fill if it is a true story?_  
Comment in practical, fluent handwriting: _Yes it does, kid. The true ones are often the best._

Comment in flourished handwriting: _True story? Maybe I really will consider „blowing off steam“, as you so crudely put it._ (On the margin of this comment crude letters say: Heh, „blow“)  
Comment in hurried but precise handwriting: _You mean they really did that? Oh Maker._

Comment in slightly choppy handwriting: _Quite...inspiring. Now at least I can place the weird noises. And to the commenter above: ha! I knew you'd read this anyway! Leliana you owe me five gold._  
Comment in precise but elegant handwiting: _Indeed I do. Fascinating read._  
Comment from author: _Glad I could brighten up your days._  
Comment in hurried but precise handwriting: _I will never live this down will I..._  
Comment in slightly choppy handwriting: _„Nothing wrong with havig a bit of fun“, right?_

Comment in very agitated handwriting: _No it doesn't count as a fill! I'm censoring this! (Why am I even writing this comment? I'm writing what I'm doing, this is ridiculous! And I'm doing it again!)_  
Comment in practical, fluent handwriting: _Aw, spoilsport._  
Comment in slightly choppy handwriting: _Again, „nothing wrong with havig a bit of fun“?_

Comment in elaborate but perfectly legible handwriting: _Nooo, I was too late!_  
Comment in precise but elegant handwiting: _No worries, I had it archived. Come to my room this evening and we'll read it together._  
Comment in elaborate but perfectly legible handwriting: _Oh, it'll be like old times. I'll bring chocolate. Actually, you come to my room, it's more comfy._  
Comment in precise but still elegant handwiting: _I'll definitely be there._  
Comment in very steady, elegant handwriting _: I have a feeling I will regret it, but might there be enough chocolate for another who was too late?_  
Comment in elaborate but perfectly legible handwriting: _Sure, why not, you can come too. It will be a Ladies' night!_  
Comment in crude handwriting: _heh, „come“._

Comment from author: _Hey, I can come, too, and read it to you. Isn't that a thing authors do?_  
Comment in very steady, elegant handwriting: _No dear, I am afraid you do not fit into the premise of a ladies' night._  
Comment from author: _Aw. Yes ma'am._  
Comment in simple, unadorned handwriting: _Even with the boobs, how sad._

Comment in precise but elegant handwiting: _Oh, and here is a message to the person who tries to be all sneaky and pretends never to read any of these: I have been informed that you were the third person to arrive too late. You know who you are. You want a copy, come to me in the rookery. Prepare to spill something in return, I'm sure you have most fascinating information to share._  
Comment in crude handwriting: _heh, „spill“_


End file.
